Enough's as Good As A Feast Part 1

"Enough's As Good As A Feast",  Mary Poppins

This sentiment hits home for me on so many levels. 

First as a mother.  The holidays are approaching.  There is a constant bombardment by society and the media that we need more.  In my home there is a constant dialogue between my son and I about what he wants and NEEDS desperately.  This dialogue isn't reserved for just this time of year, its everyday.  This car, that toy, a new game, it seems that with every new commercial or story coming home from school there is a new request for something to be purchased.  How do I as a mother relay to my son that he doesn't need everything he wants.  This is a very hard moral to instill in a five year old.

A very common thread that is discussed between my son and I is his desire to live in a new home.  This is especially hard for me because when life gets me down in the dumps, this is what I crave most.   In fact, most arguments that occur with my fiancee revolve around this "problem" and my son has probably learned to identify with this issue because of me.  If that's not a slap in the face as a parent I don't know what is.  I focus on the fact that we live in a two bedroom condo without a yard, and I desperately desire more.  More space, space in my kitchen, in my closet, another room or two, or three, a yard, I just want more.  My attention goes immediatley to what I feel we are lacking, instead of on the simple blessings we have.

 "Comparison is the thief of joy." Theodore Roosevelt. 

I get into the game of comparing.  What an evil game to play with yourself.  Someone will always have more, be doing more, be achieving more if that's how you allow yourself to think.  If you get sucked into that mindset, you will continue into a downward spiral of self pity and despair.    Believe me, I have done it, I do it.  Its just ridiculous, I have a home, my fiancee and I both drive nice cars, our son goes to an excellent school, we have enough, we have everything we need.    Remembering this is a very big challenge for me.  I still get sucked in, and let my mind go a little nutso. 

 "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."  David Ramsey

So what do I do?  I shift my perspective.  My Pop in New York told me a story once.  When he was a boy living on the farm, he would get an orange and a piece of maple candy for Christmas, and he was ecstatic.  That's it, THAT'S IT.    Currently in our country, hundreds of thousands of people are without the basic necessities for survival due to Hurricane Sandy.  They are not worried about how grand their Christmas will be, they are not sad because their homes aren't big enough, or that they don't have the new pair of Uggs they want for this winter.  They are just trying to feed, clothe, and keep their families warm.

How much is enough?  If we are contantly looking outside of our selves for satisfaction, will we ever be truly satisfied?  Abundance is a state of mind.  It is not measured by the size of your home, the quality of your wardrobe, or the type of car you drive.  The so called gifts we purchase  to satisfy our children and ourselves are made of shoddy material, and usually break or are outgrown in a year. Styles are always changing, and there will always be something  "newer" and "better".
When it comes to this holiday season  I am taking a minimalist approach, with my children and with myself.  In the past I have always tried to make the holidays big and grand with the purchase of a ton of gifts.  I am choosing instead to make this year about the experience, not the gifts.  It is time to start instilling a sense of value and appreciation in my family.

"Be thankful for what you have, and you will end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have you will never, ever have enough."  Oprah

 Writing for me is a lot about processing, not only sharing what's going on in my life but reminding myself to stay present. My advice to myself?  Focus on what you have Kim. Here is where gratitude comes in.  Practicing gratitude on the daily will really shift the way you live your life.  The best gifts we can give and receive do not have a price tag.  Our time, our love and our affection will always outlast the newest video game or doll.    I do have a lovely home, small, yes.  Cluttered, yes.  Full of love, yes.  Full of laughter, yes. We have more than enough and are never in need.
 

 Every morning my son crawls into bed with his sister and I and we snuggle and giggle and talk about our previous night's dreams and what we want our day to be like.  These moments are the irreplaceable treasures.  We are so close.  We are so blessed.  We are blessed with our home, our health, our daddy who works his ass off to provide so I can stay home with the kids.  We are blessed with joy and love.  These are the messages I want my children to hear.  These are the messages I need to remind myself of.   God has put my family in this small home for a reason. I believe that it is to remind us every day that our family is the most special  "THING"  that we really need.  We have each other and that's enough, and enough's as good as a feast.

with love, k