Perspective, Gratitude, Love

Today a woman I know shared a very humbling and moving story.   She shared with me that her best friend of 28 years, husband had recently committed suicide.  He had a gambling problem and wiped out the kids' college accounts and all savings they had.  This woman said she hadn't been to yoga all last week because she was afraid that she would start crying at some point in class.  To witness the sadness and distress as she told me about the experience of being present when her friend told her two chldren that there father was gone, was beyond touching.  I could feel her pain, and shared her sadness with her.  Sadness, for this now single mother, for the fatherless children, for the loss, for the heaviness of it all.  The heartache that she was feeling for her friend was palpable, and it touched me very deeply.  I had no words of comfort to offer, I mean, what do you say?  I chose instead to hug her very tightly and for probably an inappropriate amount of time.  We parted ways, but her story stays with me.

Her story is just one of many.  So many people I know right now are going through some very difficult times.  My sweet, loving mother is getting royally screwed by the company she has worked at for two years, a dear friend of mine is experiencing some financial woes due to a job change, my neighbor is struggling with the care of her mentally ill sister and is morally torn between her sense of responsibility and wanting to let it go.   These are women that have busted their butts their ENTIRE lives and just can't seem to catch a break.  It's heavy.

I am personally still working through some of my own shit, experiencing, processing, learning, letting go, REPEAT.

I am not trying to get super dark by any means.  I love this time of year. It's actually my favorite, I am the geek who starts decorating before Thanksgiving.  I love the soft lighting from my tree, the piney smell when I wake up, the carols, the joy, the wonder, the generosity and the kindness.  I say hello and smile at alot of strangers all of the time.  During the holidays about 400% more people will respond with a smile or hello of their own.  They may even add on a "Happy Holidays."  It is truly magical.  Its a kindness shift.  Families come together and memories are made.  However, a little perspective and a whole lot of gratitude can take an experience from amazing to unforgettable.
 

I invite you this holiday season to take a step back, and notice.  Notice when you're feeling overwhelmed because you have so much to do to prepare for the big day.  Notice when you start bickering with a loved one.  Notice your frustration when trying to find a parking spot at the mall.  Be aware.  All of these incidents are really teeny, tiny little miracles.  What a blessed life to live to HAVE to prepare, to have the turkey to cook, the stockings to stuff, the "stuff" to stuff them with, and most importantly the family to share it all with.   If the worst part of your day is trying to find a parking spot, I think you're having a pretty awesome day.  I say go ahead and bicker!!  Go ahead argue!!  It's healthy!  But don't be hurtful, don't raise your voice.   When it's done, it's done.  Apologize and hug it out.  A long hug.  Hold each other, and let your embrace remind you of the super special love that you share.  Personally, I enjoy some serious smooching as well, but I will leave that up to you ;)

For every person experiencing joy and comfort, I am sure that someone else, somewhere else, is feeling lost, hurt, or confused.  If you fall in the latter, know that you are not alone.  We all go through our own heavy times, to varying degrees.  The individual experiences are different,  but the emotion is still the same. Financial hardship, being treated unfairly at work, feeling inadequate as a parent, losing a loved one, these are all very heavy in their own right.   Sometimes things just don't make sense.  Other times, these obstacles are put in our paths to guide us a new way, or to shift our perspectives.  And other times, it's a not so simple letting go. Like all things,  "This too shall pass."

We all share a common experience, a thread of connection that binds us to each other.  This connection, this light, this love, is stronger than we could possibly imagine.  Its in these connections to each other that we can begin to reconnect, to heal, and to know the light of our own hearts.

So please, hug your loved ones.  I read recently that a six second hug actually shifts your brainwaves and creates happiness hormones.  I say hug for ten seconds, or twenty.  Kiss ALOT.  Kiss your kids, your pets, your friends, your mom and dad, kiss your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or wife.  Revel in the small miracles of the day to day.  Make the phone calls to friends and family that you've been putting off.  Don't let an opportunity for joy be missed because of a to do list or a need to hurry to get things done.   Look for any opportunity to create a connection, whether its a smile, a helping hand, or maybe to be a shoulder to cry on.  Practice gratitude, every day, with every breath.  Every day, every moment, every breath, every shared experience can be a blessing, if you choose to let it be.

Happy Holidays
with love, k