It Takes Practice, My Rekindled Love of Yoga

 The month of December was absolutely crazy.  My family is moving.   I have been extremely busy packing, getting ready for Christmas, experiencing Christmas, keeping my kids entertained over winter break, new year's,  and moving.  Its been pretty nutty.  Through all of this I have let my practice slide.  I have only practicing two to three times a week, not making time every day.  It has been a conscious choice every day.  I wake up and say to myself "Kim, you should practice today."  Then I think of all of the "crap" that needs to be done and I think that I just don't have time.

This is what it looks like/ sounds like in my mind.  When I wake up:" I should practice today.  I don't have time, I have to much stuff to do. I am too tired, I need to nap. "  Later in the day:  "I should've practiced today, I would feel so much better right now, "  Even later in the day: "Make the time Kim,  you should be doing yoga."   Then the emotion starts to kick into high gear, guilt, frustration and disappointment.  As a yoga teacher, my personal practice really improves the quality of my teaching.  I feel like I am letting not only myself down, but also my students.  I also feel that by skipping out on my practice I am choosing to not really live up to the potential that my life has to offer.  I miss it.  I miss the physicality of the asana, and I miss the peace I find when I connect to my breath.

It's very strange.  I have experienced about eleven months of a steady yoga practice, plus seven months of a steady meditation practice.  I know how I relate to the world when I am in tune with myself.  Yes, to get all yogi on you, it's blissful. But what does blissful really mean?  For me it means creating a connection.  A connection to source, to light, that inspires me, calms me and balances me throughout my day.  When I practice yoga and connect to my mantra, I am more in tune with everyTHING I come into contact with. I am also more adequately prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally to experience life in its fullest. I am patient with my children, loving towards my man, and radiate a more joyful, "lighter", frequency.

The only thing we can control is our attitude.  We have the choice of life or death, fear or love in each moment.  And we bear the responsibility for that choice in each moment.  Nowhere is that more apparent than when we embark on a regular yoga practice.  We set out to better ourselves, only find to find legions of reasons to break our commitment to health.  We say it is too difficult to make the hard choice every day.  And yet the obstacles in our path ARE the path. Everytime we stretch beyond our resistance and our fear, we make a choice for life.  And every time we choose life, we find that fear loses its grip on us.  We all know more than we think we do, and are stronger than we believe ourselves to be.  We come to our mats, and to our lives, to learn by going where we have to go.    Meditations from the Mat

I read this quote a couple of days ago and realized I could stop berating myself for slipping up in my practice. (Talk about timing, thank you universe!!)   Its a hard choice, its a discipline, the yoga lifestyle.  It takes PRACTICE.  This time away from my mat has renewed me with a deeper, stronger, love and appreciation for yoga.  For the practice itself, for my teachers, and for the simple fact that I GET TO HAVE THIS GIFT IN MY LIFE, if I choose to.

My personal obstacles included, packing, moving, holiday stress, and not knowing where I would be living in a month.  Accompanied by the day to day of being a stay at home mom, with my son on winter break, I was just totally overwhelmed.  If I ever really needed to practice, it was probably the month of December 2012.  I didn't, consistently.  I am ok with that now.  I deserve a break, and I am going to give myself one.

The beautiful thing about yoga, one of the many beautiful things about yoga is that the practice will always be there.  Your body and breath are yours and yours alone.  Your practice will wait patiently for your return, and when you do step on the mat, when you do connect to your breath, the sweet melody of connection will start to circulate through your entire being, like you hadn't missed a day.  Yoga is forgiving.  My practice wasn't angry or disappointed from our brief separation, it welcomed me back with open arms.  The emotion was all me, all Kim, and I have to say, I am grateful for this experience, it has rekindled the love I have for yoga.   And yet the obstacles in our path ARE the path. 

Even yoga teachers let it slide.  Obstacles are put in our path for a reason, a lesson to be learned, a passion to be re-ignited, or a chance to let go of judgement and criticism.  This is a new year, a new beginning, a chance to manifest the most potent, inspired life we deserve.  So whatever intentions you are creating for yourself, know this, you have to do the work, make the hard choice every day and commit to yourself.  However, if you slip up, give yourself a break, and try again.  Any slip ups are opportunities to go within, to begin again.  Become empowered by the idea that the obstacles in our path are the path.  Its empowering!!  Even our mistakes, especially our  "mistakes" will guide us back to ourselves, back to connection and back to love.

with love, k

If you are interested in purchasing Meditations from the Mat,   Here is the link:)
http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Mat-Daily-Reflections-Path/dp/0385721544/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357849184&sr=8-1&keywords=meditations+from+the+mat